GOLD!!! :D (Where I name my Pokumanz after my wonderful friends in NZ)

Let's see if it lives up to expectations/hype.

Who the fuck are you? And check the damn clock yourself!

What? 4:18 is a totally acceptable time to be waking up...

It's the new Pikachu. We could be really clever and call it Pikanew, or even Pikablue. Then again, we could call it Marill and move on.

OMG!!!1!1!!!!!1!!

I never know when Daylight Saving is on and off. Fortunately, it doesn't even exist here in Perth so I don't have to worry anymore.

Who should I pick guys?

Oh, fuck me.

What an exciting tour!

So, for those of you who didn't know. That little diamond on Metapod is actually his face with his two eyes above that and the two triangles are like horns or something.

*Insert sexual joke about "things coming up"*

*Insert sexual joke about my mom "rooting" for me*

I really hate this guy. Like, could they have at least tried to make him interesting. Getting beaten over the head with this 'OMG THIS GAI IZ SOOO EVIL HE THINX POKUMANZ ARE JUST SLAVEZ WATTA BASTARD!' stuff is not fun.

Interesting and cool rival next plz?

I used to always think that this was a secret door to a dungeon filled with lots of cool Pokemon.

You've gotta be kidding me. The first Gym Leader's strongest Pokemon is a level 9 Pidgeotto? Seriously?

I wonder if peeps in the Pokemon world eat Pokemon eggs?

First badge.

*Insert sexual joke about "making it fast"*

I kicked this bitch's ass in a battle and then she asks me for my number? If only real life girls were impressed with mad (or even mediocre, this bitch wasn't exactly hard) Pokemon skills :(

This guy is such a little cutie. I may be the only soul in the world who actually likes him.

Of course, everyone agrees with me when I say "OMFG ETERNAL MAREEP LOVE <3>"

See, this is why woman shouldn't have rights.

Why do rock Pokemon have genders? Staryu, and Magnemite and junk don't. WTF does Onix? Or Geodude? It just seems weird.

Pokemon may not have the best dialogue in the world (awful puns FTL) but it still beats out X-Men Legends.

IIRC there's a Lapras in here that comes every Friday.

IMHO this was what made Gold/Silver/Crystal. No, not the Lapras itself. But the fact there were so many little secrets to it. You could catch this guy here, and someone else over there at this time. The half-assed attempts to bring back the time thing in Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald and Diamond/Pearl/Platinum were, well half-assed attempts and weren't nearly as awesome as they were back here.

I've always wanted a PSNCUREBERRY.

Seriously, WTF kind of name is that?

You mean it HATCHED, right? I dunno why, but this seems like really weird wording...

Ah, Paras. One day I'll find someone who is a fan of you.

Does anyone remember what to do at this point in the game?

Seriously, I don't WTF I'm supposed to be doing...

Maybe this lady knows.

Oh yeah, that's right. Thanx babe!

Alright, since you've broken your back and will most likely be paralyzed for the rest of your life, I'll go beat up the Team Rockets. If you're still alive when I get back, I'll take you to the Hospital. Or the Pokemon Centre. Or wherever the fuck it is humans get medical care here.

I would feel sorry for it, if it didn't look like a total tool. Seriously, what is that? It doesn't look like Slowpoke at all.

Will most likely grow up to be gay, transgendered, crazy, or a mixture of the three.

No, I don't want to.

Oh, fuck me.

Wait, so you hate Team Rocket and want to break them up? Yet, I'm supposed to think you're evil and try and stop you?

I guess the writers fucked up on this one.

Do Pokemon games even HAVE writers?

Oh, fuck me.

Hey his (her) badge is a Ledyba!